Eunuchus; or, The Eunuch

Come, come, that’s not handsome.

I’ve said it.

I didn’t know you gave yourself such airs.

So it shall be.

First hear a few words from me; and when I have said the thing, if you approve of it, do it.

Let’s hear.

Do you step a little that way, Thraso. (THRASO stands aside.) In the first place, I wish you both implicitly to believe me in this, that whatever I do in this matter, I do it entirely for my own sake;

but if the same thing is of advantage to yourselves, it would be folly for you not to do it.

What is it?

I’m of opinion that the Captain, your rival, should be received among you.

Hah!

Be received?

Only consider. I’faith, Phaedria, at the free rate you are living with her, and indeed very freely you are living, you have but little to give; and it’s necessary for Thais to receive a good deal.

That all this may be supplied for your amour and not at your own expense, there is not an individual better suited or more fitted for your purpose than the Captain. In the first place, he both.has got enough to give, and no one does give more profusely. He is a fool, a dolt, a blockhead; night and day he snores away; and you need not fear that the lady will fall in love with him; you may easily have him discarded whenever you please.

What shall we do?

And this besides, which I deem to be of even greater importance,—not a single person entertains in better style or more bountifully.

It’s a wonder if this sort of man can not be made use of in some way or other.

I think so too.

You act properly. One thing I have still to beg of you,—that you’ll receive me into your fraternity; I’ve been rolling that stone for a considerable time past.

We admit you.

And with all my heart.

Then I, in return for this, Phaedria, and you, Chaerea, make him over to you to be eaten and drunk to the dregs.

Agreed.

He quite deserves it.

Thraso, whenever you please, step this way.

Prithee, how goes it?

How? Why, these people didn’t know you; after I had discovered to them your qualities, and had praised you as your actions and your virtues deserved,

I prevailed upon them.

You have managed well; I give you my best thanks. Besides, I never was any where but what all were extremely fond of me.

Didn’t I tell you that he was a master of the Attic elegance?

He is no other than you mentioned. (Pointing to his FATHER’s house.) Walk this way.

(To the AUDIENCE.) Fare you well, and grant us your applause.