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Asinaria, or The Ass-Dealer

Perseus Latin · Perseus Latin · 707 sections

1. 5.1.838

   Do I think so? You, whom I see as melancholy as if the day of trial had been named for you.

2. 5.1.839_840

   Don’t you say that.

3. 5.1.839_840b

   Don’t you be so, then I’ll not say so.

4. 5.1.841

   Well then, look at me; I’m laughing.

5. 5.1.841b

   I’d like that those who wish me ill would laugh thus.

6. 5.1.842

   I know, indeed, father, why you now suppose to yourself that I’m sad; it is because she is by you. And really, father, by my faith, to tell you the truth, that matter does hurt me; and not for this reason, that I don’t desire for you that which you wish,

7. 5.1.845

   but because I love her; another woman, indeed, I could easily endure to be by you.

8. 5.1.846

   But I have a fancy for this one.

9. 5.1.846b

   Then you have what you desire; for myself, I wish for what I could desire.

10. 5.1.847

    Submit to it this one day, since I’ve given you the power to be with her for a year, and have procured for you the command of money in your amour.

11. 5.1.849_850

    Well, by doing that, you have laid me under an obligation to you.

12. 5.1.849_850b

    Why then don’t you show yourself cheerful to me?

13. 5.2.851

    Prithee, do you say that my husband is carousing here, together with my son?—and that he has carried to his mistress twenty minae of silver?—and that, with the knowledge of my son, his father is perpetrating this wickedness?

14. 5.2.854

    Trust me in nothing henceforth, either divine or human,

15. 5.2.855

    Artemona, if you find me untruthful in this matter.

16. 5.2.856

    Wretched then am I, who have supposed that, beyond others, my husband was sober, decent, chaste, and especially fond of his wife.

17. 5.2.858

    But now, henceforth, understand that he, before all men, is a person of the smallest worth—a drunkard, a good-for-nothing fellow, unchaste, and a contemner of his own wife.

18. 5.2.860

    I’ faith, if this wasn’t true, he would never be doing the things that he is now doing.

19. 5.2.861

    Upon my word, I too always hitherto took him to be a decent person; but by this action he declares himself,—to be carousing, indeed, together with his son, and, a decrepit old man, toying with a mistress in his company.

20. 5.2.864

    For this it is, i’ faith, that he’s going out to dinner every day.

21. 5.2.865

    He says that he’s going to Archidemus, Chereas, Chaerestratus, Clinius, Chremes, Cratinus, Dinias, Demosthenes: while he’s thinking of debauchery, and public dens of infamy with his harlot.

22. 5.2.868

    Why don’t you bid your maid-servants carry him off home upon their shoulders?

23. 5.2.869

    Do you only be quiet. By my troth, I’ll surely give him some trouble.

24. 5.2.869b

    I’m sure of it, that so it will befall him, so long, indeed, as you shall continue married to him.

25. 5.2.870b

    I was fancying that this fellow was still giving attendance either in the senate or to his dependants: that for that reason it was, that, worn out with fatigue, he snored the whole night through. Wearied with his labours out of doors he comes home at night. Another’s farm he ploughs, his own he leaves untilled.

26. 5.2.875

    Both he himself is corrupted, and he corrupts his son as well.

27. 5.2.876

    Do you only follow me this way, I’ll make you just now to fall upon the man himself in the very fact.

28. 5.2.877

    By heaven, there’s nothing that I could more wish for.

29. 5.2.877b

    Just stop there.

30. 5.2.877c

    What’s the matter?

31. 5.2.878

    If perchance you were to see your husband reclining, if you beheld him with a garland on, caressing a mistress, could you recognize him?

32. 5.2.880

    I’ troth, I could.

33. 5.2.880b

    Then there’s your man.

34. 5.2.880c

    I’m undone.

35. 5.2.880d

    Stay a little. Let’s observe in private, from ambush, what business they are about.

36. 5.2.882

    What end will you put to your caresses, father?

37. 5.2.882b

    I confess, my son—

38. 5.2.883

    What do you confess?

39. 5.2.883b

    That I’m utterly undone with love for her.

40. 5.2.884

    Do you hear what he says?

41. 5.2.884b

    I hear.

42. 5.2.884c

    Ought I not to filch the mantle from my wife at home,

43. 5.2.885

    which she is so fond of, and bring it to you? Though my wife’s life should last a whole year in consequence, by my troth I could not be dissuaded from doing so.

44. 5.2.887

    Do you suppose that he has been accustomed to frequent a brothel to-day for the first time?

45. 5.2.888

    Upon my faith, it was he that was pilfering me; whereas I was suspecting my maid-servants, and was tormenting the wretched creatures who were innocent all the while.

46. 5.2.889b

    Father,

47. 5.2.890

    bid him pour out some wine; ’tis a long time since I drank first.

48. 5.2.891

    Begin, boy, from the top. (To PHILENIUM.) Come, do you meanwhile from below give me a kiss.

49. 5.2.892

    Wretch that I am, I’m undone! How the villain, the garnishing of a bier, is kissing away.

50. 5.2.893

    A breath, by my faith, somewhat sweeter than that of my wife.

51. 5.2.894

    Tell me, there’s a dear, does the breath of your wife smell bad?

52. 5.2.894b

    I’d prefer to drink bilge-water, if it were necessary, rather than kiss her.

53. 5.2.896

    Aye, pray, how say you? By my troth, to your own great detriment, you’ve surely said that against me. Never mind; only de you come home, I’ll let you know what danger there is in speaking abusively against a wife with a dowry.

54. 5.2.899

    By heavens, you are a wretch.

55. 5.2.899b

    I’ faith, he’s deserving so to be.

56. 5.2.899c

    How say you, father?

57. 5.2.900

    Don’t you love my mother?

58. 5.2.900b

    Who—I? I love her just now, because she isn’t present.

59. 5.2.901

    How, when she is present?

60. 5.2.901b

    Then, I wish she was dead.

61. 5.2.901c

    This fellow is fond of you, according to what he says.

62. 5.2.902

    On my word, he’s surely laying out all this at interest; for if, this day, he returns home, I’ll especially have my revenge in kissing him.

63. 5.2.904

    Father, throw the dice; that afterwards I may have a throw.

64. 5.2.904b

    By all means.

65. 5.2.905

    You, Philenium, for myself, and death for my wife. (He throws.) ’Tis Venus’s cast. Lads, clap your hands, and give me some honeyed wine in my cup, in honor of my throw.

66. 5.2.907

    I can hold out no longer.

67. 5.2.907b

    If you haven’t learned the fulling trade, it’s not to be wondered at; now it’s quite fitting for you to beset his eyes. (They make their appearance before the revellers.)

68. 5.2.909

    By heavens, I will live, and you this day have made that invocation to your own great misfortune.

69. 5.2.910b

    Will some one run to fetch the undertakers?

70. 5.2.911

    Health to you, mother.

71. 5.2.911b

    Health indeed after this fashion!

72. 5.2.911c

    Demaenetus is dead. ’Tis time to betake myself hence: this battle bravely waxes hot. I’ll be off to Diabolus. I’ll tell him his orders are performed as he desired them; and in the meantime I’ll persuade him that we should take a meal, while these people are squabbling.

73. 5.2.915

    Afterwards, in fine, I’ll bring him here to-morrow, to the procuress, that he may give her the twenty mince, that, in his turn, he in his passion may be enabled to obtain this damsel. I hope that Argyrippus will be able to be prevailed upon to allow him to pass each alternate night with him in her company; for, unless I obtain that, I’ve lost my patron; so great is the passion of the man by reason of his love.

74. 5.2.920

    What business have you to give a retreat here in your house to my husband?

75. 5.2.920b

    Troth, he really will this day be the death of wretched me, through sheer disgust.

76. 5.2.921b

    Rise, wencher, be off home.

77. 5.2.922

    I’m undone.

78. 5.2.922b

    Yes, you are; don’t, i’ faith, gainsay it, you most vile of all men. Why, the cuckoo’s still on his nest. Rise, wencher, be off home.

79. 5.2.924

    Woe to me!

80. 5.2.924b

    You prophesy correctly. Rise, wencher, be off home.

81. 5.2.925

    Step a little this way then.

82. 5.2.925b

    Rise, wencher, be off home.

83. 5.2.926

    Now, prithee, wife—

84. 5.2.926b

    Do you remember now that I’m your wife? It was but just now, when you were heaping abuse upon me, that I wasn’t your wife.

85. 5.2.928

    I’m utterly ruined.

86. 5.2.928b

    Why, pray? Does the breath of your wife smell strong?

87. 5.2.929

    It smells of myrrh.

88. 5.2.929b

    Have you filched my mantle then to be giving to your harlot?

89. 5.2.930

    By the powers—what, did he promise that he would filch your mantle?

90. 5.2.931

    Won’t you hold your tongue?

91. 5.2.931b

    I was going to dissuade him, mother.

92. 5.2.931c

    A pretty son! (To DEMAENETUS.) Is it proper for a father to teach these morals to his children? Are you ashamed of nothing?

93. 5.2.933b

    I’ faith, if there’s nothing else, I’m ashamed of you, wife.

94. 5.2.934

    With your hoary head, your wife is dragging you, you cuckoo, from dens of infamy.

95. 5.2.935

    The dinner’s cooking; mayn’t I stop, only to take my dinner?

96. 5.2.936

    Faith, you’ll dine to-day on a heavy mishap, as you deserve.

97. 5.2.937

    I shall repose but uncomfortably; my wife is taking me home condemned.

98. 5.2.938

    I told you, father, not to devise ill against my mother.

99. 5.2.939

    Do remember about the mantle, there’s a dear.

100. 5.2.939b

     Won’t you order her to go away from here?

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Perseus Latin. CTS URN phi0119.phi002.perseus-eng2. Via the Perseus Digital Library / Open Greek and Latin TEI corpora. Licence: Available under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License. Source.