Diogenes Laertius, Lives of the Philosophers

ToposText · Diogenes Laertius · 1,207 sections

urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.56
§ 5.56 But, since I saw that it was not easy for them to share the management with him, and I thought it more advantageous for them to receive a fixed sum from Hipparchus, let Hipparchus pay Melantes and Pancreon one talent each and let Hipparchus provide funds for the executors to defray the expenses set down in the will, as each disbursement falls due. And when Hipparchus shall have carried out all these injunctions, he shall be released in full from his liabilities to me. And any advance that he has made in Chalcis in my name belongs to him alone. Let Hipparchus, Neleus, Strato, Callinus, Demotimus, Callisthenes and Ctesarchus be executors to carry out the terms of the will.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.57
§ 5.57 One copy of the will, sealed with the signet-ring of Theophrastus, is deposited with Hegesias, the son of Hipparchus, the witnesses being Callippus of Pallene, Philomelus of Euonymaea, Lysander of Hyba, and Philo of Alopece. Olympiodorus has another copy, the witnesses being the same. The third copy was received by Adeimantus, the bearer being Androsthenes junior; and the witnesses are Arimnestus the son of Cleobulus, Lysistratus the son of Pheidon of Thasos, Strato the son of Arcesilaus of Lampsacus, Thesippus the son of Thesippus of Cerameis, and Dioscurides the son of Dionysius of Epicephisia.” Such is the tenor of his will. There are some who say that Erasistratus the physician was also a pupil of his, and it is not improbable.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.58
§ 5.58 3. STRATO His successor in the school was Strato, the son of Arcesilaus, a native of Lampsacus, whom he mentioned in his will; a distinguished man who is generally known as “the physicist,” because more than anyone else he devoted himself to the most careful study of nature. Moreover, he taught Ptolemy Philadelphus and received, it is said, 80 talents from him. According to Apollodorus in his Chronology he became head of the school in the 123rd Olympiad, and continued to preside over it for eighteen years.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.59
§ 5.59 There are extant of his works: Of Kingship, three books. Of Justice, three books. Of the Good, three books. Of the Gods, three books. On First Principles, three books. On Various Modes of Life. Of Happiness. On the Philosopher-King. Of Courage. On the Void. On the Heaven. On the Wind. Of Human Nature. On the Breeding of Animals. Of Mixture. Of Sleep. Of Dreams. Of Vision. Of Sensation. Of Pleasure. On Colours. Of Diseases. Of the Crises in Diseases. On Faculties. On Mining Machinery. Of Starvation and Di5iness. On the Attributes Light and Heavy. Of Enthusiasm or Ecstasy. On Time. On Growth and Nutrition. On Animals the existence of which is questioned. On Animals in Folk-lore or Fable. Of Causes. Solutions of Difficulties. Introduction to Topics. Of Accident.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.60
§ 5.60 Of Definition. On difference of Degree. Of Injustice. Of the logically Prior and Posterior. Of the Genus of the Prior. Of the Property or Essential Attribute. Of the Future. Examinations of Discoveries, in two books. Lecture-notes, the genuineness of which is doubted. Letters beginning “ Strato to Arsinoe greeting.” Strato is said to have grown so thin that he felt nothing when his end came. And I have written some lines upon him as follows: A thin, spare man in body, take my word for it, owing to his use of unguents, was this Strato, I at least affirm, to whom Lampsacus gave birth. For ever wrestling with diseases, he died unawares or ever he felt the hand of death.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.61
§ 5.61 There have been eight men who bore the name of Strato: (1) a pupil of Isocrates; (2) our subject; (3) a physician, a disciple, or, as some say, a fosterchild, of Erasistratus; (4) a historian, who treated of the struggle of Philip and Perseus against the Romans; (5) * *; (6) a poet who wrote epigrams; (7) a physician who lived in ancient times, mentioned by Aristotle; (8) a Peripatetic philosopher who lived in Alexandria. But to return to Strato the physicist. His will is also extant and it runs as follows: “In case anything should happen to me I make these dispositions. All the goods in my house I give and bequeath to Lampyrio and Arcesilaus. From the money belonging to me in Athens, in the first place my executors shall provide for my funeral and for all that custom requires to be done after the funeral, without extravagance on the one hand or meanness on the other.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.62
§ 5.62 The executors of this my will shall be Olympichus, Aristides, Mnesigenes, Hippocrates, Epicrates, Gorgylus, Diocles, Lyco, Athanes. I leave the school to Lyco, since of the rest some are too old and others too busy. But it would be well if the others would co-operate with him. I also give and bequeath to him all my books, except those of which I am the author, and all the furniture in the dining-hall, the cushions and the drinking-cups. The trustees shall give Epicrates 500 drachmas and one of the servants whom Arcesilaus shall approve.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.63
§ 5.63 And in the first place Lampyrio and Arcesilaus shall cancel the agreement which Daippus made on behalf of Iraeus. And he shall not owe anything either to Lampyrio or to Lampyrio's heirs, but shall have a full discharge from the whole transaction. Next, the executors shall give him 500 drachmas in money and one of the servants whom Arcesilaus shall approve, so that, in return for all the toil he has shared with me and all the services he has rendered me, he may have the means to maintain himself respectably. Further, I emancipate Diophantus, Diocles and Abus; and Simias I make over to Arcesilaus. I also emancipate Dromo.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.64
§ 5.64 As soon as Arcesilaus has arrived, Iraeus shall, with Olympichus, Epicrates, and the other executors, prepare an account of the money expended upon the funeral and the other customary charges. Whatever money remains over, Arcesilaus shall take over from Olympichus, without however pressing him as to times and seasons. Arcesilaus shall also cancel the agreement made by Strato with Olympichus and Ameinias and deposited with Philocrates the son of Tisamenus. With regard to my monument they shall make it as Arcesilaus, Olympichus and Lyco shall approve.” Such are the terms of his extant will, according to the Collection of Ariston of Ceos. Strato himself, however, was, as stated above, a man entitled to full approbation, since he excelled in every branch of learning, and most of all in that which is styled “physics,” a branch of philosophy more ancient and important than the others.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.65
§ 5.65 4. LYCO Strato's successor was Lyco, the son of Astyanax of Troas, a master of expression and of the foremost rank in the education of boys. For he used to say that modesty and love of honour were as necessary an equipment for boys as spur and bridle for horses. His eloquence and sonorousness of diction appear from the following fact; he speaks of a penniless maiden as follows: “A grievous burden to a father is a girl, when for lack of a dowry she runs past the flower of her age.” Hence the remark which Antigonus is said to have made about him, that it was not possible to transfer elsewhere the fragrance and charm of the apple, but each separate expression must be contemplated in the speaker himself as every single apple is on the tree.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.66
§ 5.66 This was because Lyco's voice was exceedingly sweet, so that some persons altered his name to Glyco, by prefixing a G. But in writing he fell off sadly. For instance, those who regretted their neglect to learn when they had the opportunity and wished they had done so he would hit off neatly as follows, remarking that “they were their own accusers, betraying, by vain regret, repentance for an incorrigible laziness.” Those who deliberated wrongly he used to say were out in their calculations, as if they had used a crooked rule to test something straight, or looked at the reflection of a face in troubled water or a distorting mirror. Again, “Many go in search of the garland of the market-place; few or none seek the crown at Olympia.” He often gave the Athenians advice on various subjects and thus conferred on them the greatest benefits.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.67
§ 5.67 In his dress he was most immaculate, so that the clothes he wore were unsurpassed for the softness of the material, according to Hermippus. Furthermore, he was well practised in gymnastics and kept himself in condition, displaying all an athlete's habit of body, with battered ears and skin begrimed with oil, so we are told by Antigonus of Carystus. Hence it is said that he not only wrestled but played the game of ball common in his birthplace of Ilium. He was esteemed beyond all other philosophers by Eumenes and Attalus, who also did him very great service. Antiochus too tried to get hold of him, but without success.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.68
§ 5.68 He was so hostile to Hieronymus the Peripatetic that he alone declined to meet him on the anniversary which we have mentioned in the Life of Arcesilaus. He presided over the school forty-four years after Strato had bequeathed it to him by his will in the 127th Olympiad. Not but what he also attended the lectures of the logician Panthoides. He died at the age of seventy-four after severe sufferings from gout. This is my epitaph upon him: Nor, I swear! will I pass over Lyco either, for all that he died of the gout. But this it is which amazes me the most, if he who formerly could walk only with the feet of others, did in a single night traverse the long, long road to Hades.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.69
§ 5.69 Other men have borne the name of Lyco: (1) a Pythagorean, (2) our present subject, (3) an epic poet, (4) a poet who wrote epigrams. I have also come across this philosopher's will. It is this: “These are my dispositions concerning my property, in case I should be unable to sustain my present ailment. All the goods in my house I give to my brothers Astyanax and Lyco, and from this source should, I think, be paid all the money I have laid out at Athens, whether by borrowing or by purchase, as well as all the cost of my funeral and the other customary charges.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.70
§ 5.70 But my property in town and at Aegina I give to Lyco because he bears the same name with me, and has resided for a long time with me to my entire satisfaction, as became one whom I treated as my son. I leave the Peripatus to such of my friends as choose to make use of it, to Bulo, Callinus, Ariston, Amphion, Lyco, Pytho, Aristomachus, Heracleus, Lycomedes, and my nephew Lyco. They shall put over it any such person as in their opinion will persevere in the work of the school and will be most capable of extending it. And all my other friends should co-operate for love of me and of the spot. Bulo and Callinus, together with their colleagues, shall provide for my funeral and cremation, so as to avoid meanness on the one hand and extravagance on the other.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.71
§ 5.71 After my decease Lyco shall make over, for the use of the young men, the oil from the olive-trees belonging to me in Aegina for the due commemoration – so long as they use it – of myself and the benefactor who did me honour. He shall also set up my statue, and shall choose a convenient site where it shall be erected, with the assistance of Diophantus and Heraclides the son of Demetrius. From my property in town Lyco shall repay all from whom I have borrowed anything after his departure. Bulo and Callinus shall provide the sums expended upon my funeral and other customary charges. These sums they shall recover from the moneys in the house bequeathed by me to them both in common.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.72
§ 5.72 They shall also remunerate the physicians Pasithemis and Medias who for their attention to me and their skill deserve far higher reward. I bequeath to the child of Callinus a pair of Thericlean cups, and to his wife a pair of Rhodian vessels, a smooth carpet, a rug with nap on both sides, a sofa cover and two cushions the best that are left, that, so far as I have the means of recompensing them, I may prove not ungrateful. With regard to the servants who have waited upon me, my wishes are as follows. To Demetrius I remit the purchase-money for the freedom which he has long enjoyed, and bequeath to him five minas and a suit of clothes to ensure him a decent maintenance, in return for all the toil he has borne with me. To Crito of Chalcedon I also remit the purchase money for his freedom and bequeath to him four minas. And Micrus I emancipate; and Lyco shall keep him and educate him for the next six years.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.73
§ 5.73 And Chares I emancipate, and Lyco shall maintain him, and I bequeath him two minas and my published writings, while those which have not been given to the world I entrust to Callinus, that he may carefully edit them. To Syrus who has been set free I give four minas and Menodora, and I remit to him any debt he owes me. And to Hilara I give five minas and a double-napped rug, two cushions, a sofa-cover and a bed, whichever she prefers. I also set free the mother of Micrus as well as Noemon, Dion, Theon, Euphranor and Hermias. Agathon should be set free after two years, and the litter-bearers Ophelio and Posidonius after four years' further service.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.74
§ 5.74 To Demetrius, to Crito and to Syrus I give a bed apiece and such bed-furniture out of my estate as Lyco shall think proper. These shall be given them for properly performing their appointed tasks. As regards my burial, let Lyco bury me here if he chooses, or if he prefers to bury me at home let him do so, for I am persuaded that his regard for propriety is not less than my own. When he has managed all these things, he can dispose of the property there, and such disposition shall be binding. Witnesses are Callinus of Hermione, Ariston of Ceos, Euphronius of Paeania.” Thus while his shrewdness is seen in all his actions, in his teaching and in all his studies, in some ways his will is no less remarkable for carefulness and wise management, so that in this respect also he is to be admired
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.75
§ 5.75 5. DEMETRIUS Demetrius, the son of Phanostratus, was a native of Phalerum. He was a pupil of Theophrastus, but by his speeches in the Athenian assembly he held the chief power in the State for ten years and was decreed 360 bronze statues, most of them representing him either on horseback or else driving a chariot or a pair of horses. And these statues were completed in less than 300 days, so much was he esteemed. He entered politics, says Demetrius of Magnesia in his work on Men of the Same Name, when Harpalus, fleeing from Alexander, came to Athens. As a statesman he rendered his country many splendid services. For he enriched the city with revenues and buildings, though he was not of noble birth.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.76
§ 5.76 For he was one of Conon's household servants, according to Favorinus in the first book of his Memorabilia; yet Lamia, with whom he lived, was a citizen of noble family, as Favorinus also states in his first book. Further, in his second book Favorinus alleges that he suffered violence from Cleon, while Didymus in his Table-talk relates how a certain courtesan nicknamed him Charito-Blepharos ("having the eyelids of the Graces "), and Lampito ("of shining eyes"). He is said to have lost his sight when in Alexandria and to have recovered it by the gift of Sarapis; whereupon he composed the paeans which are sung to this day. For all his popularity with the Athenians he nevertheless suffered eclipse through all-devouring envy.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.77
§ 5.77 Having been indicted by some persons on a capital charge, he let judgement go by default; and, when his accusers could not get hold of his person, they disgorged their venom on the bronze of his statues. These they tore down from their pedestals; some were sold, some cast into the sea, and others were even, it is said, broken up to make bedroom-utensils. Only one is preserved in the Acropolis. In his Miscellaneous History Favorinus tells us that the Athenians did this at the bidding of King Demetrius.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.78
§ 5.78 And in the official list the year in which he was archon was styled “the year of lawlessness,” according to this same Favorinus. Hermippus tells us that upon the death of Casander, being in fear of Antigonus, he fled to Ptolemy Soter. There he spent a considerable time and advised Ptolemy, among other things, to invest with sovereign power his children by Eurydice. To this Ptolemy would not agree, but bestowed the diadem on his son by Berenice, who, after Ptolemy's death, thought fit to detain Demetrius as a prisoner in the country until some decision should be taken concerning him. There he lived in great dejection, and somehow, in his sleep, received an asp -bite on the hand which proved fatal. He is buried in the district of Busiris near Diospolis.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.79
§ 5.79 Here are my lines upon him: A venomous asp was the death of the wise Demetrius, an asp withal of sticky venom, darting, not light from its eyes, but black death. Heraclides in his epitome of Sotion's Successions of Philosophers says that Ptolemy himself wished to transmit the kingdom to Philadelphus, but that Demetrius tried to dissuade him, saying, “If you give it to another, you will not have it yourself.” At the time when he was being continually attacked in Athens, Menander, the Comic poet, as I have also learnt, was very nearly brought to trial for no other cause than that he was a friend of Demetrius. However, Telesphorus, the nephew of Demetrius, begged him off. In the number of his works and their total length in lines he has surpassed almost all contemporary Peripatetics. For in learning and versatility he has no equal.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.80
§ 5.80 Some of these works are historical and others political; there are some dealing with poets, others with rhetoric. Then there are public speeches and reports of embassies, besides collections of Aesop's fables and much else. He wrote: Of Legislation at Athens, five books. Of the Constitutions of Athens, two books. Of Statesmanship, two books. On Politics, two books. Of Laws, one book. On Rhetoric, two books. On Military Matters, two books.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.81
§ 5.81 On the Iliad, two books. On the Odyssey, four books. And the following works, each in one book: Ptolemy. Concerning Love. Phaedondas. Maedon. Cleon. Socrates. Artaxerxes. Concerning Homer. Aristides. Aristomachus. An Exhortation to Philosophy. Of the Constitution. On the ten years of his own Supremacy. Of the Ionians. Concerning Embassies. Of Belief. Of Favour. Of Fortune. Of Magnanimity. Of Marriage. Of the Beam in the Sky. Of Peace. On Laws. On Customs. Of Opportunity. Dionysius. Concerning Chalcis. A Denunciation of the Athenians. On Antiphanes. Historical Introduction. Letters. A Sworn Assembly. Of Old Age. Rights. Aesop's Fables. Anecdotes.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.82
§ 5.82 His style is philosophical, with an admixture of rhetorical vigour and force. When he heard that the Athenians had destroyed his statues, “That they may do,” said he, “but the merits which caused them to be erected they cannot destroy.” He used to say that the eyebrows formed but a small part of the face, and yet they can darken the whole of life by the scorn they express. Again, he said that not only was Plutus blind, but his guide, Fortune, as well; that all that steel could achieve in war was won in politics by eloquence. On seeing a young dandy, “There,” quoth he, “is a four-square Hermes for you, with trailing robe, belly, beard and all.” When men are haughty and arrogant, he declared we should cut down their tall stature and leave them their spirit unimpaired. Children should honour their parents at home, out-of-doors everyone they meet, and in solitude themselves.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.83
§ 5.83 In prosperity friends do not leave you unless desired, whereas in adversity they stay away of their own accord. All these sayings seem to be set down to his credit. There have been twenty noteworthy men called Demetrius: (1) a rhetorician of Chalcedon, older than Thrasymachus; (2) the subject of this notice; (3) a Peripatetic of Byzantium; (4) one called the graphic writer, clear in narrative; he was also a painter; (5) a native of Aspendus, a pupil of Apollonius of Soli; (6) a native of Callatis, who wrote a geography of Asia and Europe in twenty books; (7) a Byzantine, who wrote a history of the migration of the Gauls from Europe into Asia in thirteen books, and another work in eight books dealing with Antiochus and Ptolemy and their settlement of Libya;
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.84
§ 5.84 (8) the sophist who lived at Alexandria, author of handbooks of rhetoric; (9) a grammarian of Adramyttium, surnamed Ixion because he was thought to be unjust to Hera; (10) a grammarian of Cyrene, surnamed Wine-jar, an eminent man; (11) a native of Scepsis, a man of wealth and good birth, ardently devoted to learning; he was also the means of bringing his countryman Metrodorus into prominence; (12) a grammarian of Erythrae enrolled as a citizen of Lemnos; (13) a Bithynian, son of Diphilus the Stoic and pupil of Panaetius of Rhodes;
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.85
§ 5.85 (14) a rhetorician of Smyrna. The foregoing were prose authors. Of poets bearing this name the first belonged to the Old Comedy; the second was an epic poet whose lines to the envious alone survive: While he lives they scorn the man whom they regret when he is gone; yet, some day, for the honour of his tomb and lifeless image, contention seizes cities and the people set up strife; the third of Tarsus, writer of satires; the fourth, a writer of lampoons, in a bitter style; the fifth, a sculptor mentioned by Polemo; the sixth, of Erythrae, a versatile man, who also wrote historical and rhetorical works.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.86
§ 5.86 6. HERACLIDES Heraclides, son of Euthyphro, born at Heraclea in the Pontus, was a wealthy man. At Athens he first attached himself to Speusippus. He also attended the lectures of the Pythagoreans and admired the writings of Plato. Last of all he became a pupil of Aristotle, as Sotion says in his Successions of Philosophers. He wore fine soft clothes, and he was extremely corpulent, which made the Athenians call him Pompicus rather than Ponticus. He was mild and dignified of aspect. Works by him survive of great beauty and excellence. There are ethical dialogues: Of Justice, three books. Of Temperance, one book. Of Piety, five books. Of Courage, one book. Of Virtue in general, one book. A second with the same title. Of Happiness, one book.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.87
§ 5.87 Of Government, one book. On Laws, one book, and on subjects kindred to these. Of Names, one book. Agreements, one book. On the Involuntary, one book. Concerning Love, and Clinias, one book. Others are physical treatises: Of Reason. Of the Soul, and a separate treatise with the same title. Of Nature. Of Images. Against Democritus. Of Celestial Phenomena, one book Of Things in the Under-world. On Various Ways of Life, two books. The Causes of Diseases, one book. Of the Good, one book. Against Zeno's Doctrines, one book. A Reply to Metron's Doctrines, one book. To grammar and criticism belong: Of the Age of Homer and Hesiod, two books Of Archilochus and Homer, two books. Of a literary nature are: A work on passages in Euripides and Sophocles, three books. On Music, two books.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.88
§ 5.88 Solutions of Homeric Problems, two books. Of Theorems, one book. On the Three Tragic Poets, one book. Characters, one book. Of Poetry and Poets, one book. Of Conjecture, one book. Concerning Prevision, one book. Expositions of Heraclitus, four books. Expositions in Reply to Democritus, one book. Solutions of Eristic Problems, two books. Logical Proposition, one book. Of Species, one book. Solutions, one book. Admonitions, one book. A Reply to Dionysius, one book. To rhetoric belongs: Of Public Speaking, or Protagoras. To history: On the Pythagoreans. Of Discoveries. Some of these works are in the style of comedy, for instance the tracts On Pleasure and On Temperance; others in the style of tragedy, as the books entitled Of those in Hades, Of Piety, and Of Authority. Again, he has a sort of intermediate style of conversation which he employs when philosophers, generals and statesmen converse with each other.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.89
§ 5.89 Furthermore, he wrote geometrical and dialectical works, and is, besides, everywhere versatile and lofty in diction, and a great adept at charming the reader's mind. It seems that he delivered his native city from oppressions by assassinating its ruler, as is stated in his work on Men of the Same Name by Demetrius of Magnesia, who also tells the following story about him: “As a boy, and when he grew up, he kept a pet snake, and, being at the point of death, he ordered a trusted attendant to conceal the corpse but to place the snake on his bier, that he might seem to have departed to the gods.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.90
§ 5.90 All this was done. But while the citizens were in the very midst of the procession and were loud in his praise, the snake, hearing the uproar, popped up out of the shroud, creating widespread confusion. Subsequently, however, all was revealed, and they saw Heraclides, not as he appeared, but as he really was.” I have written of him as follows: You wished, Heraclides, to leave to all mankind a reputation that after death you lived as a snake. But you were deceived, you sophist, for the snake was really a brute beast, and you were detected as more of a beast than a sage. Hippobotus too has this tale.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.91
§ 5.91 Hermippus relates that, when their territory was visited by famine, the people of Heraclea besought the Pythian priestess for relief, but Heraclides bribed the sacred envoys as well as the aforesaid priestess to reply that they would be rid of the calamity if Heraclides, the son of Euthyphro, were crowned with a crown of gold in his lifetime and after his death received heroic honours. The pretended oracle was brought home, but its forgers got nothing by it. For directly Heraclides was crowned in the theatre, he was seized with apoplexy, whereupon the envoys to the oracle were stoned to death. Moreover, at the very same time the Pythian priestess, after she had gone down to the shrine and taken her seat, was bitten by one of the snakes and died instantly. Such are the tales told about his death.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.92
§ 5.92 Aristoxenus the musician asserts that Heraclides also composed tragedies, inscribing upon them the name of Thespis. Chamaeleon complains that Heraclides' treatise on the works of Homer and Hesiod was plagiarized from his own. Furthermore, Autodorus the Epicurean criticizes him in a polemic against his tract Of Justice. Again, Dionysius the Renegade, or, as some people call him, the “Spark,” when he wrote the Parthenopaeus, entitled it a play of Sophocles; and Heraclides, such was his credulity, in one of his own works drew upon this forged play as Sophoclean evidence.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.93
§ 5.93 Dionysius, on perceiving this, confessed what he had done; and, when the other denied the fact and would not believe him, called his attention to the acrostic which gave the name of Pancalus, of whom Dionysius was very fond. Heraclides was still unconvinced. Such a thing, he said, might very well happen by chance. To this Dionysius, “You will also find these lines: a. An old monkey is not caught by a trap. b. Oh yes, he's caught at last, but it takes time.” And this besides: “ Heraclides is ignorant of letters and not ashamed of his ignorance.” Fourteen persons have borne the name of Heraclides: (1) the subject of this notice; (2) a fellow-citizen of his, author of Pyrrhic verses and tales;
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:5.94
§ 5.94 (3) a native of Cyme, who wrote of Persia in five books; (4) another native of Cyme, who wrote rhetorical textbooks; (5) of Callatis or Alexandria, author of the Succession of Philosophers in six books and a work entitled Lembeuticus, from which he got the surname of Lembus (a fast boat or scout); (6) an Alexandrian who wrote on the Persian national character; (7) a dialectician of Bargylis, who wrote against Epicurus; (8) a physician of the school of Hicesius; (9) another physician of Tarentum, an empiric; (10) a poet who was the author of admonitions; (11) a sculptor of Phocaea; (12) a Ligurian poet, author of epigrams; (13) Heraclides of Magnesia, who wrote a history of Mithradates; (14) the compiler of an Astronomy.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.1
§ 6.1 BOOK 6, 1. ANTISTHENES Antisthenes, the son of Antisthenes, was an Athenian. It was said, however, that he was not of pure Attic blood. Hence his reply to one who taunted him with this: “The Mother of the Gods too is a Phrygian.” For his mother was supposed to have been a Thracian. Hence it was that, when he had distinguished himself in the battle of Tanagra, he gave Socrates occasion to remark that, if both his parents had been Athenians, he would not have turned out so brave. He himself showed his contempt for the airs which the Athenians gave themselves on the strength of being sprung from the soil by the remark that this did not make them any better born than snails or wingless locusts.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.2
§ 6.2 To begin with, he became a pupil of Gorgias the rhetorician, and hence the rhetorical style that he introduces in his dialogues, and especially in his Truth and in his Exhortations. According to Hermippus he intended at the public gathering for the Isthmian games to discourse on the faults and merits of Athenians, Thebans and Lacedaemonians, but begged to be excused when he saw throngs arriving from those cities. Later on, however, he came into touch with Socrates, and derived so much benefit from him that he used to advise his own disciples to become fellow-pupils with him of Socrates. He lived in the Peiraeus, and every day would tramp the five miles to Athens in order to hear Socrates. From Socrates he learned his hardihood, emulating his disregard of feeling, and thus he inaugurated the Cynic way of life. He demonstrated that pain is a good thing by instancing the great Heracles and Cyrus, drawing the one example from the Greek world and the other from the barbarians.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.3
§ 6.3 He was the first to define statement (or assertion) by saying that a statement is that which sets forth what a thing was or is. He used repeatedly to say, “I'd rather be mad than feel pleasure,” and “We ought to make love to such women as will feel a proper gratitude.” When a lad from Pontus was about to attend his lectures, and asked him what he required, the answer was, “Come with a new book, a new pen, and new tablets, if you have a mind to” (implying the need of brains as well). When someone inquired what sort of wife he ought to marry, he said, “If she's beautiful, you'll not have her to yourself; if she's ugly, you'll pay for it dearly.” Being told that Plato was abusing him, he remarked, “It is a royal privilege to do good and be ill spoken of.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.4
§ 6.4 When he was being initiated into the Orphic mysteries, the priest said that those admitted into these rites would be partakers of many good things in Hades. “Why then,” said he, “don't you die?” Being reproached because his parents were not both free-born, “Nor were they both wrestlers,” quoth he, “but yet I am a wrestler.” To the question why he had but few disciples he replied, “Because I use a silver rod to eject them.” When he was asked why he was so bitter in reproving his pupils he replied, “Physicians are just the same with their patients.” One day upon seeing an adulterer running for his life he exclaimed, “Poor wretch, what peril you might have escaped at the price of an obol.” He used to say, as we learn from Hecato in his Anecdotes, that it is better to fall in with crows than with flatterers; for in the one case you are devoured when dead, in the other case while alive.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.5
§ 6.5 Being asked what was the height of human bliss, he replied, “To die happy.” When a friend complained to him that he had lost his notes, “You should have inscribed them,” said he, “on your mind instead of on paper.” As iron is eaten away by rust, so, said he, the envious are consumed by their own passion. Those who would fain be immortal must, he declared, live piously and justly. States, said he, are doomed when they are unable to distinguish good men from bad. Once, when he was applauded by rascals, he remarked, “I am horribly afraid I have done something wrong.” When brothers agree, no fortress is so strong as their common life, he said. The right outfit for a voyage, he said, is such as, even if you are shipwrecked, will go through the water with you.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.6
§ 6.6 One day when he was censured for keeping company with evil men, the reply he made was, “Well, physicians are in attendance on their patients without getting the fever themselves.” “It is strange,” said he, “that we weed out the darnel from the corn and the unfit in war, but do not excuse evil men from the service of the state.” When he was asked what advantage had accrued to him from philosophy, his answer was, “The ability to hold converse with myself.” Some one having called upon him over the wine for a song, he replied, “Then you must accompany me on the pipe.” When Diogenes begged a coat of him, he bade him fold his cloak around him double.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.7
§ 6.7 Being asked what learning is the most necessary, he replied, “How to get rid of having anything to unlearn.” And he advised that when men are slandered, they should endure it more courageously than if they were pelted with stones. And he used to taunt Plato with being conceited. At all events when in a procession he spied a spirited charger he said, turning to Plato, “It seems to me that you would have made just such a proud, showy steed.” This because Plato was constantly praising horseflesh. And one day he visited Plato, who was ill, and seeing the basin into which Plato had vomited, remarked, “The bile I see, but not the pride.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.8
§ 6.8 He used to recommend the Athenians to vote that asses are horses. When they deemed this absurd, his reply was, “But yet generals are found among you who had had no training, but were merely elected.” “Many men praise you,” said one. “Why, what wrong have I done?” was his rejoinder. When he turned the torn part of his cloak so that it came into view, Socrates no sooner saw this than he said, “I spy your love of fame peeping through your cloak.” Phanias in his work on the Socratics tells us how some one asked him what he must do to be good and noble, and he replied, “You must learn from those who know that the faults you have are to be avoided.” When some one extolled luxury his reply was, “May the sons of your enemies live in luxury.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.9
§ 6.9 To the youth who was posing fantastically as an artist's model he put this question, “Tell me, if the bronze could speak, on what, think you, would it pride itself most?” “On its beauty,” was the reply. “Then,” said he, “are you not ashamed of delighting in the very same quality as an inanimate object?” When a young man from Pontus promised to treat him with great consideration as soon as his boat with its freight of salt fish should arrive, he took him and an empty wallet to a flour-dealer's, got it filled, and was going away. When the woman asked for the money, “The young man will pay,” said he, “when his boatload of salt fish arrives.” Antisthenes is held responsible for the exile of Anytus and the execution of Meletus.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.10
§ 6.10 For he fell in with some youths from Pontus whom the fame of Socrates had brought to Athens, and he led them off to Anytus, whom he ironically declared to be wiser than Socrates; whereupon (it is said) those about him with much indignation drove Anytus out of the city. If he saw a woman anywhere decked out with ornaments, he would hasten to her house and bid her husband bring out his horse and arms, and then, if the man possessed them, let his extravagance alone, for (he said) the man could with these defend himself; but, if he had none, he would bid him strip off the finery. Favourite themes with him were the following. He would prove that virtue can be taught; that nobility belongs to none other than the virtuous.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.11
§ 6.11 And he held virtue to be sufficient in itself to ensure happiness, since it needed nothing else except the strength of a Socrates. And he maintained that virtue is an affair of deeds and does not need a store of words or learning; that the wise man is self-sufficing, for all the goods of others are his; that ill repute is a good thing and much the same as pain; that the wise man will be guided in his public acts not by the established laws but by the law of virtue; that he will also marry in order to have children from union with the handsomest women; furthermore that he will not disdain to love, for only the wise man knows who are worthy to be loved.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.12
§ 6.12 Diocles records the following sayings of his: To the wise man nothing is foreign or impracticable. A good man deserves to be loved. Men of worth are friends. Make allies of men who are at once brave and just. Virtue is a weapon that cannot be taken away. It is better to be with a handful of good men fighting against all the bad, than with hosts of bad men against a handful of good men. Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes. Esteem an honest man above a kinsman. Virtue is the same for women as for men. Good actions are fair and evil actions foul. Count all wickedness foreign and alien.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.13
§ 6.13 Wisdom is a most sure stronghold which never crumbles away nor is betrayed. Walls of defence must be constructed in our own impregnable reasonings. He used to converse in the gymnasium of Cynosarges (White hound ) at no great distance from the gates, and some think that the Cynic school derived its name from Cynosarges. Antisthenes himself too was nicknamed a hound pure and simple. And he was the first, Diocles tells us, to double his cloak and be content with that one garment and to take up a staff and a wallet. Neanthes too asserts that he was the first to double his mantle. Sosicrates, however, in the third book of his Successions of Philosophers says this was first done by Diodorus of Aspendus, who also let his beard grow and used a staff and a wallet.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.14
§ 6.14 Of all the Socratics Antisthenes alone is praised by Theopompus, who says he had consummate skill and could by means of agreeable discourse win over whomsoever he pleased. And this is clear from his writings and from Xenophon's Banquet. It would seem that the most manly section of the Stoic School owed its origin to him. Hence Athenaeus the epigrammatist writes thus of them: Ye experts in Stoic story, ye who commit to sacred pages most excellent doctrines — that virtue alone is the good of the soul: for virtue alone saves man's life and cities. But that Muse that is one of the daughters of Memory approves the pampering of the flesh, which other men have chosen for their aim.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.15
§ 6.15 Antisthenes gave the impulse to the indifference of Diogenes, the continence of Crates, and the hardihood of Zeno, himself laying the foundations of their state. Xenophon calls him the most agreeable of men in conversation and the most temperate in everything else. His writings are preserved in ten volumes. The first includes: A Treatise on Expression, or Styles of Speaking. Ajax, or The Speech of Ajax. Odysseus, or Concerning Odysseus. A Defence of Orestes, or Concerning Forensic Writers. Isography (similar writing), or Lysias and Isocrates. A Reply to the Speech of Isocrates entitled “Without Witnesses.” Vol. 2 includes: Of the Nature of Animals. Of Procreation of Children, or Of Marriage: a discourse on love. Of the Sophists: a work on Physiognomy.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.16
§ 6.16 On Justice and Courage: a hortative work in three books. Concerning Theognis, making a fourth and a fifth book. In the third volume are treatises: Of the Good. Of Courage. Of Law, or Of a Commonwealth. Of Law, or Of Goodness and Justice. Of Freedom and Slavery. Of Belief. Of the Guardian, or On Obedience. Of Victory: an economic work. In the fourth volume are included: Cyrus. The Greater Heracles, or Of Strength. The fifth contains: Cyrus, or Of Sovereignty. Aspasia. The sixth: Truth. Of Discussion: a handbook of debate. Satho, or Of Contradiction, in three books.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.17
§ 6.17 On Talk. The seventh volume contains the following: On Education, or On Names, in five books. On the Use of Names: a controversial work. Of Questioning and Answering. Of Opinion and Knowledge, in four books. Of Dying. Of Life and Death. Of Those in the Underworld. Of Nature, in two books. A Problem concerning Nature, two books. Opinions, or The Controversialist. Problems about Learning. In the eighth volume are: On Music. On Commentators. On Homer. On Wickedness and Impiety. On Calchas. On the Scout. On Pleasure. The ninth volume contains: Of the Odyssey. Of the Minstrel's Staff. Athena, or Of Telemachus. Of Helen and Penelope. Of Proteus. Cyclops, or Of Odysseus.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.18
§ 6.18 Of the Use of Wine, or Of Intoxication, or Of the Cyclops. Of Circe. Of Amphiaraus. Of Odysseus, Penelope and the Dog. The contents of the tenth volume are: Heracles, or Midas. Heracles, or Of Wisdom or Strength. Cyrus, or The Beloved. Cyrus, or The Scouts. Menexenus, or On Ruling. Alcibiades. Archelaus, or Of Kingship. This is the list of his writings. Timon finds fault with him for writing so much and calls him a prolific trifler. He died of disease just as Diogenes, who had come in, inquired of him, “Have you need of a friend?” Once too Diogenes, when he came to him, brought a dagger. And when Antisthenes cried out, “Who will release me from these pains?” replied, “This,” showing him the dagger. “I said,” quoth the other, “from my pains, not from life.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.19
§ 6.19 It was thought that he showed some weakness in bearing his malady through love of life. And here are my verses upon him: Such was your nature, Antisthenes, that in your lifetime you were a very bulldog to rend the heart with words, if not with teeth. Yet you died of consumption. Maybe some one will say, What of that? We must anyhow have some guide to the world below. There have been three other men named Antisthenes: one a follower of Heraclitus, another a native of Ephesus, and the third ( Antisthenes ) of Rhodes, a historian. And whereas we have enumerated the pupils of Aristippus and of Phaedo, we will now append an account of the Cynics and Stoics who derive from Antisthenes. And let it be in the following order.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.20
§ 6.20 2. DIOGENES Diogenes was a native of Sinope, son of Hicesius, a banker. Diocles relates that he went into exile because his father was entrusted with the money of the state and adulterated the coinage. But Eubulides in his book on Diogenes says that Diogenes himself did this and was forced to leave home along with his father. Moreover Diogenes himself actually confesses in his Pordalus that he adulterated the coinage. Some say that having been appointed to superintend the workmen he was persuaded by them, and that he went to Delphi or to the Delian oracle in his own city and inquired of Apollo whether he should do what he was urged to do. When the god gave him permission to alter the political currency, not understanding what this meant, he adulterated the state coinage, and when he was detected, according to some he was banished, while according to others he voluntarily quitted the city for fear of consequences.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.21
§ 6.21 One version is that his father entrusted him with the money and that he debased it, in consequence of which the father was imprisoned and died, while the son fled, came to Delphi, and inquired, not whether he should falsify the coinage, but what he should do to gain the greatest reputation; and that then it was that he received the oracle. On reaching Athens he fell in with Antisthenes. Being repulsed by him, because he never welcomed pupils, by sheer persistence Diogenes wore him out. Once when he stretched out his staff against him, the pupil offered his head with the words, “Strike, for you will find no wood hard enough to keep me away from you, so long as I think you've something to say.” From that time forward he was his pupil, and, exile as he was, set out upon a simple life.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.22
§ 6.22 Through watching a mouse running about, says Theophrastus in the Megarian dialogue, not looking for a place to lie down in, not afraid of the dark, not seeking any of the things which are considered to be dainties, he discovered the means of adapting himself to circumstances. He was the first, say some, to fold his cloak because he was obliged to sleep in it as well, and he carried a wallet to hold his victuals, and he used any place for any purpose, for breakfasting, sleeping, or conversing. And then he would say, pointing to the Stoa of Zeus and the Pompeion, that the Athenians had provided him with places to live in.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.23
§ 6.23 He did not lean upon a staff until he grew infirm; but afterwards he would carry it everywhere, not indeed in the city, but when walking along the road with it and with his wallet; so say Olympiodorus, once a magistrate at Athens, Polyeuctus the orator, and Lysanias the son of Aeschrio. He had written to some one to try and procure a cottage for him. When this man was a long time about it, he took for his abode the tub in the Metroon, as he himself explains in his letters. And in summer he used to roll in it over hot sand, while in winter he used to embrace statues covered with snow, using every means of inuring himself to hardship.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.24
§ 6.24 He was great at pouring scorn on his contemporaries. The school of Euclides he called bilious, and Plato's lectures waste of time, the performances at the Dionysia great peep-shows for fools, and the demagogues the mob's lackeys. He used also to say that when he saw physicians, philosophers and pilots at their work, he deemed man the most intelligent of all animals; but when again he saw interpreters of dreams and diviners and those who attended to them, or those who were puffed up with conceit of wealth, he thought no animal more silly. He would continually say that for the conduct of life we need right reason or a halter.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.25
§ 6.25 Observing Plato one day at a costly banquet taking olives, “How is it,” he said, “that you the philosopher who sailed to Sicily for the sake of these dishes, now when they are before you do not enjoy them?” “Nay, by the gods, Diogenes,” replied Plato, “there also for the most part I lived upon olives and such like.” “Why then,” said Diogenes, “did you need to go to Syracuse? Was it that Attica at that time did not grow olives?” But Favorinus in his Miscellaneous History attributes this to Aristippus. Again, another time he was eating dried figs when he encountered Plato and offered him a share of them. When Plato took them and ate them, he said, “I said you might share them, not that you might eat them all up.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.26
§ 6.26 And one day when Plato had invited to his house friends coming from Dionysius, Diogenes trampled upon his carpets and said, “I trample upon Plato's vainglory.” Plato's reply was, “How much pride you expose to view, Diogenes, by seeming not to be proud.” Others tell us that what Diogenes said was, “I trample upon the pride of Plato,” who retorted, “Yes, Diogenes, with pride of another sort.” Sotion, however, in his fourth book makes the Cynic address this remark to Plato himself. Diogenes once asked him for wine, and after that also for some dried figs; and Plato sent him a whole jar full. Then the other said, “If some one asks you how many two and two are, will you answer, Twenty? So, it seems, you neither give as you are asked nor answer as you are questioned.” Thus he scoffed at him as one who talked without end.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.27
§ 6.27 Being asked where in Greece he saw good men, he replied, “Good men nowhere, but good boys at Lacedaemon.” When one day he was gravely discoursing and nobody attended to him, he began whistling, and as people clustered about him, he reproached them with coming in all seriousness to hear nonsense, but slowly and contemptuously when the theme was serious. He would say that men strive in digging and kicking to outdo one another, but no one strives to become a good man and true.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.28
§ 6.28 And he would wonder that the grammarians should investigate the ills of Odysseus, while they were ignorant of their own. Or that the musicians should tune the strings of the lyre, while leaving the dispositions of their own souls discordant; that the mathematicians should gaze at the sun and the moon, but overlook matters close at hand; that the orators should make a fuss about justice in their speeches, but never practise it; or that the avaricious should cry out against money, while inordinately fond of it. He used also to condemn those who praised honest men for being superior to money, while themselves envying the very rich. He was moved to anger that men should sacrifice to the gods to ensure health and in the midst of the sacrifice should feast to the detriment of health. He was astonished that when slaves saw their masters were gluttons, they did not steal some of the viands.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.29
§ 6.29 He would praise those who were about to marry and refrained, those who intending to go a voyage never set sail, those who thinking to engage in politics do no such thing, those also who purposing to rear a family do not do so, and those who make ready to live with potentates, yet never come near them after all. He used to say, moreover, that we ought to stretch out our hands to our friends with the fingers open and not closed. Menippus in his Sale of Diogenes tells how, when he was captured and put up for sale, he was asked what he could do. He replied, “Govern men.” And he told the crier to give notice in case anybody wanted to purchase a master for himself. Having been forbidden to sit down, “It makes no difference,” said he, “for in whatever position fishes lie, they still find purchasers.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.30
§ 6.30 And he said he marvelled that before we buy a jar or dish we try whether it rings true, but if it is a man are content merely to look at him. To Xeniades who purchased him he said, “You must obey me, although I am a slave; for, if a physician or a steersman were in slavery, he would be obeyed.” Eubulus in his book entitled The Sale of Diogenes tells us that this was how he trained the sons of Xeniades. After their other studies he taught them to ride, to shoot with the bow, to sling stones and to hurl javelins. Later, when they reached the wrestling-school, he would not permit the master to give them full athletic training, but only so much as to heighten their colour and keep them in good condition.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.31
§ 6.31 The boys used to get by heart many passages from poets, historians, and the writings of Diogenes himself; and he would practise them in every short cut to a good memory. In the house too he taught them to wait upon themselves, and to be content with plain fare and water to drink. He used to make them crop their hair close and to wear it unadorned, and to go lightly clad, barefoot, silent, and not looking about them in the streets. He would also take them out hunting. They on their part had a great regard for Diogenes and made requests of their parents for him. The same Eubulus relates that he grew old in the house of Xeniades, and when he died was buried by his sons.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.32
§ 6.32 There Xeniades once asked him how he wished to be buried. To which he replied, “On my face.” “Why?” inquired the other. “Because,” said he, “after a little time down will be converted into up.” This because the Macedonians had now got the supremacy, that is, had risen high from a humble position. Some one took him into a magnificent house and warned him not to expectorate, whereupon having cleared his throat he discharged the phlegm into the man's face, being unable, he said, to find a meaner receptacle. Others father this upon Aristippus. One day he shouted out for men, and when people collected, hit out at them with his stick, saying, “It was men I called for, not scoundrels.” This is told by Hecato in the first book of his Anecdotes. Alexander is reported to have said, “Had I not been Alexander, I should have liked to be Diogenes.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.33
§ 6.33 The word “disabled” (ἀναπήρους), Diogenes held, ought to be applied not to the deaf or blind, but to those who have no wallet (πήρα). One day he made his way with head half shaven into a party of young revellers, as Metrocles relates in his Anecdotes, and was roughly handled by them. Afterwards he entered on a tablet the names of those who had struck him and went about with the tablet hung round his neck, till he had covered them with ridicule and brought universal blame and discredit upon them. He described himself as a hound of the sort which all men praise, but no one, he added, of his admirers dared go out hunting along with him. When some one boasted that at the Pythian games he had vanquished men, Diogenes replied, “Nay, I defeat men, you defeat slaves.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.34
§ 6.34 To those who said to him, “You are an old man; take a rest,” “What?” he replied, “if I were running in the stadium, ought I to slacken my pace when approaching the goal? ought I not rather to put on speed?” Having been invited to a dinner, he declared that he wouldn't go; for, the last time he went, his host had not expressed a proper gratitude. He would walk upon snow barefoot and do the other things mentioned above. Not only so; he even attempted to eat meat raw, but could not manage to digest it. He once found Demosthenes the orator lunching at an inn, and, when he retired within, Diogenes said, “All the more you will be inside the tavern.” When some strangers expressed a wish to see Demosthenes, he stretched out his middle finger and said, “There goes the demagogue of Athens.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.35
§ 6.35 Some one dropped a loaf of bread and was ashamed to pick it up; whereupon Diogenes, wishing to read him a lesson, tied a rope to the neck of a wine-jar and proceeded to drag it across the Ceramicus. He used to say that he followed the example of the trainers of choruses; for they too set the note a little high, to ensure that the rest should hit the right note. Most people, he would say, are so nearly mad that a finger makes all the difference. For, if you go along with your middle finger stretched out, some one will think you mad, but, if it's the little finger, he will not think so. Very valuable things, said he, were bartered for things of no value, and vice versa. At all events a statue fetches three thousand drachmas, while a quart of barley-flour is sold for two copper coins.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.36
§ 6.36 To Xeniades, who purchased him, he said, “Come, see that you obey orders.” When he quoted the line, Backward the streams flow to their founts, Diogenes asked, “If you had been ill and had purchased a doctor, would you then, instead of obeying him, have said'Backward the streams flow to their founts'”? Some one wanted to study philosophy under him. Diogenes gave him a tunny to carry and told him to follow him. And when for shame the man threw it away and departed, some time after on meeting him he laughed and said, “The friendship between you and me was broken by a tunny.” The version given by Diocles, however, is as follows. Some one having said to him, “Lay your commands upon us, Diogenes,” he took him away and gave him a cheese to carry, which cost half an obol. The other declined; whereupon he remarked, “The friendship between you and me is broken by a little cheese worth half an obol.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.37
§ 6.37 One day, observing a child drinking out of his hands, he cast away the cup from his wallet with the words, “A child has beaten me in plainness of living.” He also threw away his bowl when in like manner he saw a child who had broken his plate taking up his lentils with the hollow part of a morsel of bread. He used also to reason thus: “All things belong to the gods. The wise are friends of the gods, and friends hold things in common. Therefore all things belong to the wise.” One day he saw a woman kneeling before the gods in an ungraceful attitude, and wishing to free her of superstition, according to Zoilus of Perga, he came forward and said, “Are you not afraid, my good woman, that a god may be standing behind you? – for all things are full of his presence – and you may be put to shame?”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.38
§ 6.38 He dedicated to Asclepius a bruiser who, whenever people fell on their faces, used to run up to them and bruise them. All the curses of tragedy, he used to say, had lighted upon him. At all events he was A homeless exile, to his country dead. A wanderer who begs his daily bread. But he claimed that to fortune he could oppose courage, to convention nature, to passion reason. When he was sunning himself in the Craneum, Alexander came and stood over him and said, “Ask of me any boon you like.” To which he replied, “Stand out of my light.” Some one had been reading aloud for a very long time, and when he was near the end of the roll pointed to a space with no writing on it. “Cheer up, my men,” cried Diogenes; “there's land in sight.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.39
§ 6.39 To one who by argument had proved conclusively that he had horns, he said, touching his forehead, “Well, I for my part don't see any.” In like manner, when somebody declared that there is no such thing as motion, he got up and walked about. When some one was discoursing on celestial phenomena, “How many days,” asked Diogenes, “were you in coming from the sky?” A eunuch of bad character had inscribed on his door the words, “Let nothing evil enter.” “How then,” he asked, “is the master of the house to get in?” When he had anointed his feet with unguent, he declared that from his head the unguent passed into the air, but from his feet into his nostrils. The Athenians urged him to become initiated, and told him that in Hades those who have been initiated take precedence. “It would be ludicrous,” quoth he, “if Agesilaus and Epaminondas are to dwell in the mire, while certain folk of no account will live in the Isles of the Blest because they have been initiated.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.40
§ 6.40 When mice crept on to the table he addressed them thus, “See now even Diogenes keeps parasites.” When Plato styled him a dog, “Quite true,” he said, “for I come back again and again to those who have sold me.” As he was leaving the public baths, somebody inquired if many men were bathing. He said, No. But to another who asked if there was a great crowd of bathers, he said, Yes. Plato had defined Man as an animal, biped and featherless, and was applauded. Diogenes plucked a fowl and brought it into the lecture-room with the words, “Here is Plato's man.” In consequence of which there was added to the definition, “having broad nails.” To one who asked what was the proper time for lunch, he said, “If a rich man, when you will; if a poor man, when you can.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.41
§ 6.41 At Megara he saw the sheep protected by leather jackets, while the children went bare. “It's better,” said he, “to be a Megarian's ram than his son.” To one who had brandished a beam at him and then cried, “Look out,” he replied, “What, are you intending to strike me again?” He used to call the demagogues the lackeys of the people and the crowns awarded to them the efflorescence of fame. He lit a lamp in broad daylight and said, as he went about, “I am looking for a man.” One day he got a thorough drenching where he stood, and, when the bystanders pitied him, Plato said, if they really pitied him, they should move away, alluding to his vanity. When some one hit him a blow with his fist, “ Heracles,” said he, “how came I to forget to put on a helmet when I walked out?”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.42
§ 6.42 Further, when Meidias assaulted him and went on to say, “There are 3000 drachmas to your credit,” the next day he took a pair of boxing-gauntlets, gave him a thrashing and said, “There are 3000 blows to your credit.” When Lysias the druggist asked him if he believed in the gods, “How can I help believing in them,” said he, “when I see a god-forsaken wretch like you?” Others give this retort to Theodorus. Seeing some one perform religious purification, he said, “Unhappy man, don't you know that you can no more get rid of errors of conduct by sprinklings than you can of mistakes in grammar?” He would rebuke men in general with regard to their prayers, declaring that they asked for those things which seemed to them to be good, not for such as are truly good.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.43
§ 6.43 As for those who were excited over their dreams he would say that they cared nothing for what they did in their waking hours, but kept their curiosity for the visions called up in their sleep. At Olympia, when the herald proclaimed Dioxippus to be victor over the men, Diogenes protested, “Nay, he is victorious over slaves, I over men.” Still he was loved by the Athenians. At all events, when a youngster broke up his tub, they gave the boy a flogging and presented Diogenes with another. Dionysius the Stoic says that after Chaeronea he was seized and dragged off to Philip, and being asked who he was, replied, “A spy upon your insatiable greed.” For this he was admired and set free.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.44
§ 6.44 Alexander having on one occasion sent a letter to Antipater at Athens by a certain Athlios, Diogenes, who was present, said: Graceless son of graceless sire to graceless wight by graceless squire. Perdiccas having threatened to put him to death unless he came to him, “That's nothing wonderful,” quoth he, “for a beetle or a tarantula would do the same.” Instead of that he would have expected the threat to be that Perdiccas would be quite happy to do without his company. He would often insist loudly that the gods had given to men the means of living easily, but this had been put out of sight, because we require honeyed cakes, unguents and the like. Hence to a man whose shoes were being put on by his servant, he said, “You have not attained to full felicity, unless he wipes your nose as well; and that will come, when you have lost the use of your hands.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.45
§ 6.45 Once he saw the sacred officials leading away some one who had stolen a bowl belonging to the treasurers, and said, “The great thieves are leading away the little thief.” Noticing a lad one day throwing stones at a cross (gibbet), “Well done,” he said, “you will hit your mark.” When some boys clustered round him and said, “Take care he doesn't bite us,” he answered, “Never fear, boys, a dog does not eat beetroot.” To one who was proud of wearing a lion's skin his words were, “Leave off dishonouring the habiliments of courage.” When some one was extolling the good fortune of Callisthenes and saying what splendour he shared in the suite of Alexander, “Not so,” said Diogenes, “but rather ill fortune; for he breakfasts and dines when Alexander thinks fit.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.46
§ 6.46 Being short of money, he told his friends that he applied to them not for alms, but for repayment of his due. When behaving indecently in the marketplace, he wished it were as easy to relieve hunger by rubbing an empty stomach. Seeing a youth starting off to dine with satraps, he dragged him off, took him to his friends and bade them keep strict watch over him. When a youth effeminately attired put a question to him, he declined to answer unless he pulled up his robe and showed whether he was man or woman. A youth was playing cottabos in the baths. Diogenes said to him, “The better you play, the worse it is for you.” At a feast certain people kept throwing all the bones to him as they would have done to a dog. Thereupon he played a dog's trick and drenched them.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.47
§ 6.47 Rhetoricians and all who talked for reputation he used to call “thrice human,” meaning thereby “thrice wretched.” An ignorant rich man he used to call “the sheep with the Golden Fleece.” Seeing a notice on the house of a profligate, “To be sold,” he said, “I knew well that after such surfeiting you would throw up the owner.” To a young man who complained of the number of people who annoyed him by their attentions he said, “Cease to hang out a sign of invitation.” Of a public bath which was dirty he said, “When people have bathed here, where are they to go to get clean?” There was a stout musician whom everybody depreciated and Diogenes alone praised. When asked why, he said, “Because being so big, he yet sings to his lute and does not turn brigand.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.48
§ 6.48 The musician who was always deserted by his audience he greeted with a “Hail chanticleer,” and when asked why he so addressed him, replied, “Because your song makes every one get up.” A young man was delivering a set speech, when Diogenes, having filled the front fold of his dress with lupins, began to eat them, standing right opposite to him. Having thus drawn off the attention of the assemblage, he said he was greatly surprised that they should desert the orator to look at himself. A very superstitious person addressed him thus, “With one blow I will break your head.” “And I,” said Diogenes, “by a sneeze from the left will make you tremble.” Hegesias having asked him to lend him one of his writings, he said, “You are a simpleton, Hegesias; you do not choose painted figs, but real ones; and yet you pass over the true training and would apply yourself to written rules.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.49
§ 6.49 When some one reproached him with his exile, his reply was, “Nay, it was through that, you miserable fellow, that I came to be a philosopher.” Again, when some one reminded him that the people of Sinope had sentenced him to exile, “And I them,” said he, “to home-staying.” Once he saw an Olympic victor tending sheep and thus accosted him: “Too quickly, my good friend, have you left Olympia for Nemea. ”Being asked why athletes are so stupid, his answer was, “Because they are built up of pork and beef.” He once begged alms of a statue, and, when asked why he did so, replied, “To get practice in being refused.” In asking alms – as he did at first by reason of his poverty – he used this form: “If you have already given to anyone else, give to me also; if not, begin with me.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.50
§ 6.50 On being asked by a tyrant what bronze is best for a statue, he replied, “That of which Harmodius and Aristogiton were moulded.” Asked how Dionysius treated his friends, “Like purses,” he replied; “so long as they are full, he hangs them up, and, when they are empty, he throws them away.” Some one lately wed had set up on his door the notice: The son of Zeus, victorious Heracles, Dwells here; let nothing evil enter in. To which Diogenes added “After war, alliance.” The love of money he declared to be mother-city of all evils. Seeing a spendthrift eating olives in a tavern, he said, “If you had breakfasted in this fashion, you would not so be dining.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.51
§ 6.51 Good men he called images of the gods, and love the business of the idle. To the question what is wretched in life he replied, “An old man destitute.” Being asked what creature's bite is the worst, he said, “Of those that are wild a sycophant's; of those that are tame a flatterer's.” Upon seeing two centaurs very badly painted, he asked, “Which of these is Chiron?” (worse man). Ingratiating speech he compared to honey used to choke you. The stomach he called livelihood's Charybdis. Hearing a report that Didymon the flute-player had been caught in adultery, his comment was, “His name alone is sufficient to hang him.” To the question why gold is pale, his reply was, “Because it has so many thieves plotting against it.” On seeing a woman carried in a litter, he remarked that the cage was not in keeping with the quarry.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.52
§ 6.52 One day seeing a runaway slave sitting on the brink of a well, he said, “Take care, my lad, you don't fall in.” Seeing a boy taking clothes at the baths, he asked, “Is it for a little unguent (ἀλειμμάτιον) or is it for a new cloak (ἄλλ' ἱμάτιον)?” Seeing some women hanged from an olive-tree, he said, “Would that every tree bore similar fruit.” On seeing a footpad he accosted him thus: What mak'st thou here, my gallant? Com'st thou perchance for plunder of the dead? Being asked whether he had any maid or boy to wait on him, he said “No.” “If you should die, then, who will carry you out to burial?” “Whoever wants the house,” he replied.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.53
§ 6.53 Noticing a good-looking youth lying in an exposed position, he nudged him and cried, “Up, man, up, lest some foe thrust a dart into thy back!” To one who was feasting lavishly he said: Short-liv'd thou'lt be, my son, by what thou – buy'st. As Plato was conversing about Ideas and using the nouns “tablehood” and “cuphood,” he said, “Table and cup I see; but your tablehood and cuphood, Plato, I can nowise see.” “That's readily accounted for,” said Plato, “for you have the eyes to see the visible table and cup; but not the understanding by which ideal tablehood and cuphood are discerned.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.54
§ 6.54 On being asked by somebody, “What sort of a man do you consider Diogenes to be?” “A Socrates gone mad,” said he. Being asked what was the right time to marry, Diogenes replied, “For a young man not yet: for an old man never at all.” Being asked what he would take to be soundly cuffed, he replied, “A helmet.” Seeing a youth dressing with elaborate care, he said, “If it's for men, you're a fool; if for women, a knave.” One day he detected a youth blushing. “Courage,” quoth he, “that is the hue of virtue.” One day after listening to a couple of lawyers disputing, he condemned them both, saying that the one had no doubt stolen, but the other had not lost anything. To the question what wine he found pleasant to drink, he replied, “That for which other people pay.” When he was told that many people laughed at him, he made answer, “But I am not laughed down.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.55
§ 6.55 When some one declared that life is an evil, he corrected him: “Not life itself, but living ill.” When he was advised to go in pursuit of his runaway slave, he replied, “It would be absurd, if Manes can live without Diogenes, but Diogenes cannot get on without Manes.” When breakfasting on olives amongst which a cake had been inserted, he flung it away and addressed it thus: Stranger, betake thee from the princes' path. And on another occasion thus: He lashed an olive. Being asked what kind of hound he was, he replied, “When hungry, a Maltese; when full, a Molossian – two breeds which most people praise, though for fear of fatigue they do not venture out hunting with them. So neither can you live with me, because you are afraid of the discomforts.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.56
§ 6.56 Being asked if the wise eat cakes, “Yes,” he said, “cakes of all kinds, just like other men.” Being asked why people give to beggars but not to philosophers, he said, “Because they think they may one day be lame or blind, but never expect that they will turn to philosophy.” He was begging of a miserly man who was slow to respond; so he said, “My friend, it's for food that I'm asking, not for funeral expenses.” Being reproached one day for having falsified the currency, he said, “That was the time when I was such as you are now; but such as I am now, you will never be.” To another who reproached him for the same offence he made a more scurrilous repartee.
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.57
§ 6.57 On coming to Myndus and finding the gates large, though the city itself was very small, he cried, “Men of Myndus, bar your gates, lest the city should run away.” Seeing a man who had been caught stealing purple, he said: Fast gripped by purple death and forceful fate. When Craterus wanted him to come and visit him, “No,” he replied, “I would rather live on a few grains of salt at Athens than enjoy sumptuous fare at Craterus's table.” He went up to Anaximenes the rhetorician, who was fat, and said, “Let us beggars have something of your paunch; it will be a relief to you, and we shall get advantage.” And when the same man was discoursing, Diogenes distracted his audience by producing some salt fish. This annoyed the lecturer, and Diogenes said, “An obol's worth of salt fish has broken up Anaximenes' lecture-class.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.58
§ 6.58 Being reproached for eating in the market-place, “Well, it was in the market-place,” he said, “that I felt hungry.” Some authors affirm that the following also belongs to him: that Plato saw him washing lettuces, came up to him and quietly said to him, “Had you paid court to Dionysius, you wouldn't now be washing lettuces,” and that he with equal calmness made answer, “If you had washed lettuces, you wouldn't have paid court to Dionysius.” When some one said, “Most people laugh at you,” his reply was, “And so very likely do the asses at them; but as they don't care for the asses, so neither do I care for them.” One day observing a youth studying philosophy, he said, “Well done, Philosophy, that thou divertest admirers of bodily charms to the real beauty of the soul.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.59
§ 6.59 When some one expressed astonishment at the votive offerings in Samothrace, his comment was, “There would have been far more, if those who were not saved had set up offerings.” But others attribute this remark to Diagoras of Melos. To a handsome youth, who was going out to dinner, he said, “You will come back a worse man.” When he came back and said next day, “I went and am none the worse for it,” Diogenes said, “Not Worse-man ( Chiron ), but Lax-man ( Eurytion ).” He was asking alms of a bad-tempered man, who said, “Yes, if you can persuade me.” “If I could have persuaded you,” said Diogenes, “I would have persuaded you to hang yourself.” He was returning from Lacedaemon to Athens; and on some one asking, “Whither and whence?” he replied, “From the men's apartments to the women's.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.60
§ 6.60 He was returning from Olympia, and when somebody inquired whether there was a great crowd, “Yes,” he said, “a great crowd, but few who could be called men.” Libertines he compared to fig-trees growing upon a cliff: whose fruit is not enjoyed by any man, but is eaten by ravens and vultures. When Phryne set up a golden statue of Aphrodite in Delphi, Diogenes is said to have written upon it: “From the licentiousness of Greece.” Alexander once came and stood opposite him and said, “I am Alexander the great king.” “And I,” said he, “am Diogenes the Cynic.” Being asked what he had done to be called a hound, he said, “I fawn on those who give me anything, I yelp at those who refuse, and I set my teeth in rascals.”
urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0004.tlg001:6.61
§ 6.61 He was gathering figs, and was told by the keeper that not long before a man had hanged himself on that very fig-tree. “Then,” said he, “I will now purge it.” Seeing an Olympian victor casting repeated glances at a courtesan, “See,” he said, “yonder ram frenzied for battle, how he is held fast by the neck fascinated by a common minx.” Handsome courtesans he would compare to a deadly honeyed potion. He was breakfasting in the marketplace, and the bystanders gathered round him with cries of “ dog.” “It is you who are dogs,” cried he, “when you stand round and watch me at my breakfast.” When two cowards hid away from him, he called out, “Don't be afraid, a hound is not fond of beetroot.”

Via ToposText (topostext.org), a project of the Aikaterini Laskaridis Foundation created by Brady Kiesling. Translated by Robert Drew Hicks (1850-1929). Composed ca. 240 CE. Licence: public domain. Source.