Amphitryon, or Jupiter in Disguise

Perseus Latin · Perseus Latin · 874 sections

4.2a.1034_sp37
I do say so—but, hark you, since I have produced a Sosia, Amphitryon an Amphitryon, how do you know whether you, perchance, may not be producing another Blepharo? O that the Gods would grant that you as well, belaboured with fists, and with your teeth knocked out, going without your breakfast, might credit this. ForI, that other Sosia, that is to say, who am yonder, has mauled me in a dreadful manner.
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Really, it is wonderful; but it’s as well to mend our pace; for, as I perceive, Amphitryon is waiting for us, and my empty stomach is grumbling.
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—And why do I mention foreign legends? More wondrous things they relate to have happened among our Theban race in former days; that mighty searcher for Europa, attacking the monster sprung from Mars, suddenly produced his enemies from the serpent-seed; and in that battle fought, brother pressed on brother with lance and helm; the Epirote land, too, beheld the author of our race, together with the daughter of Venus, gliding as serpents. From on high supreme Jove thus willed it; thus destiny directs. All the noblest of our country, in return for their bright achievements, are pursued with direful woes. This fatality is pressing hard on me—still I could endure disasters so great, and submit to woes hardly to be endured—
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Blepharo.
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What’s the matter?
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I don’t know; I suspect something wrong.
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Why?
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Look, please, our master, like an humble courtier, is walking before the door bolted fast.
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It’s nothing; walking to and fro, he’s looking for an appetite.
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After a singular fashion, indeed; for he has shut the door, that it mayn’t escape out of the house.
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You do go yelping on.
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I go neither yelping on nor barking on; if you listen to me, observe him. I don’t know why he’s by himself alone; he’s making some calculation, I suppose. I can hear from this spot what he says— don’t be in a hurry.
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How much I fear lest the Gods should blot out the glory I have acquired in the conquest of the foe. In wondrous manner do I see the whole of my household in commotion. And then my wife, so full of viciousness, incontinence, and dishonor, kills me outright. But about the goblet, it is a singular thing; yet the seal was properly affixed. And what besides? She recounted to me the battles I had fought; Pterelas, too, besieged and bravely slain by my own hand, Aye, aye—now I know the trick; this was done by Sosia’s contrivance, who as well has disgracefully presumed to-day to get before me on my arrival.
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He’s talking about me, and in terms that I had rather not. Prithee, don’t let’s accost this man until he has disclosed his wrath.
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Just as you please.
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If it is granted me this day to lay hold of that whip-scoundrel, I’ll show him what it is to deceive his master, and to assail me with threats and tricks.
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Do you hear him?
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I hear him.
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That implement (pointing to AMPHITRYON’S walkingstick) is a burden for my shoulder-blades. Let’s accost the man, if you please. Do you know what is in the habit of being commonly said?
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What you are going to say, I don’t know; what you’ll have to endure I pretty well guess.
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It’s an old adage—Hunger and delay summon anger to the nostrils.
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Aye, and well suited to the occasion. Let’s address him directly—Amphitryon!
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Is it Blepharo I hear? It’s strange why he’s come to me. Still, he presents himself opportunely, for me to prove the guilty conduct of my wife. Why have you come here to me, Blepharo?
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Have you so soon forgotten how early in the morning you sent Sosia to the ship, that I might take a repast with you to-day?
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Never in this world was it done. But where is that scoundrel?
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Who?
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Sosia.
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See, there he is.
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Where? BLEPH. Before your eyes; don’t you see him?
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I can hardly see for anger, so distracted has that fellow made me this day. You shall never escape my making a sacrifice of you. (Offers to strike SOSIA, on which BLEPHARO prevents him.) Do let me, Blepharo.
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Listen, I pray.
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Say on, I’m listening— (gives a blow to SOSIA) you take that.
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For what reason? Am I not in good time? I couldn’t have gone quicker, if I had betaken myself on the oar-like wings of Daedalus.
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Prithee, do leave him alone; we couldn’t quicken our pace any further.
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Whether it was the pace of a man on stilts or that of the tortoise, I’m determined to be the death of this villain. (Striking him at each sentence.) Take that for the roof; that for the tiles; that for closing the door; that for making fun of your master; that for your abusive language.
4.2a.1034_sp72
What injury has he been doing to you?
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Do you ask? Shut out of doors, from that housetop (pointing to it) he has driven me away from my house.
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What, I?
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What did you threaten that you would do if I knocked at that door? Do you deny it, you scoundrel?
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Why shouldn’t I deny it? See, he’s sufficiently a witness with whom I have just now come; I was sent on purpose that by your invitation I might bring him to your house.
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Who sent you, villain?
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He who asks me the question.
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When, of all things?
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Some little time since-not long since—just now. When you were reconciled at home to your wife.
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Bacchus must have demented you.
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May I not be paying my respects to Bacchus this day, nor yet to Ceres. You ordered the vessels to be made clean, that you might perform a sacrifice, and you sent me to fetch him (pointing to BLEPHARO), that he might breakfast with you.
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Blepharo, may I perish outright if I have either been in the house, or if I have sent him. (To SOSIA.) Tell me—where did you leave me?
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At home, with your wife Alcmena. Leaving you, I flew towards the harbour, and invited him in your name. We are come, and I’ve not seen you since till now.
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Villanous fellow! With my wife, say you? You shall never go away without getting a beating.
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Blepharo!
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Amphitryon, do let him alone, for my sake, and listen to me.
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Well then, I’ll let him alone. What do you want? Say on.
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He has just now been telling me most extraordi nary marvels. A juggler, or a sorcerer, perhaps, has enchanted all this household of yours. Do enquire in other quarters, and examine how it is. And don’t cause this poor fellow to be tortured, before you understand the matter.
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You give good advice; let’s go in, I want you also to be my advocate against my wife.
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Who with such weighty blows has been shaking this door on all the hinges? Who has been making such a great disturbance for this long while before the house? If I find him out, I’ll sacrifice him to the shades of the Teleboans. There’s nothing, as the common saying is, that goes on well with me to-day. I left Blepharo and Sosia that I might find my kinsman Naucrates; him I have not found, and them I have lost. But I espy them; I’ll go meet them, to enquire if they have any news.
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Blepharo, that’s our master that’s coming out of the house; but this man’s the sorcerer.
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O Jupiter! What do I behold? This is not, but that is, Amphitryon; if this is, why really that cannot be he, unless, indeed, he is double.
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See now, here’s Sosia with Blepharo; I’ll accost them the first. Well, Sosia, come to us at last? I’m quite hungry.
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Didn’t I tell you, Blepharo, that this one was the sorcerer?
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Nay, Theban citizens, I say that this is he (pointing to JUPITER) who in my house has made my wife guilty of incontinence, through whom I find a store of unchastity laid up for me.
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Master, if now you are hungry, crammed full of fisticuffs, I betake me to you.
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Do you persist, whip-scoundrel?
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Hie thee to Acheron, sorcerer.
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What, I a sorcerer? (Strikes him.) Take that.
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What madness possesses you, stranger, for you to be beating my servant?
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Your servant?
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Mine.
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You lie.
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Sosia, go in-doors, and take care the breakfast is got ready while I’m sacrificing this fellow.
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I’ll go. (Aside.) Amphitryon, I suppose, will receive the other Amphitryon as courteously as I, that other Sosia, did me, Sosia, a while ago. Meantime, while they are contending, I’ll turn aside into the victualling department: I’ll clean out all the dishes, and all the vessels I’ll drain.
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Do you say that I lie?
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You lie, I say, you corrupter of my family.
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For that disgraceful speech, I’ll drag you along here, seizing you by the throat.
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Ah wretched me!
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But you should have had a care of this beforehand.
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Blepharo, aid me!
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The two are so exactly alike that I don’t know which to side with. Still, so far as possible, I’ll put an end to their contention. (Aloud.) Amphitryon, don’t slay Amphitryon in fight; let go his throat, I pray.
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Are you calling this fellow Amphitryon?
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Why not? Formerly he was but one, but now he has become double. While you are wanting to be he, the other, too, doesn’t cease to be of his form. Meanwhile, prithee, do leave go of his neck.
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I will leave go. (Lets go of AMPHITRYON.) But tell me, does that fellow appear to you to be Amphitryon?
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Really, both of you do.
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O supreme Jupiter! when this day didst thou take from me my form? I’ll proceed to make enquiry of him; are you Amphitryon?
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Do you deny it?
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Downright do I deny it, inasmuch as in Thebes there is no other Amphitryon besides myself.
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On the contrary, no other besides myself; and, in fact, do you, Blepharo, be the judge.
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I’ll make this matter clear by proofs, if I can. (To AMPHITRYON.) Do you answer first.
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With pleasure.
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Before the battle with the Taphians was begun by you, what orders did you give me?
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The ship being in readiness, for you carefully to keep close to the rudder.
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That if our people should take to flight, I might betake myself in safety thither.
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Anything else as well?
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That the bag loaded with treasure should be carefully guarded.
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Because the money—
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Hold your tongue, you, if you please; it’s my place to ask. Did you know the amount?
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Fifty Attic talents.
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He tells the truth to a nicety. And you (to AMPHITRYON), how many Philippeans?
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Two thousand.
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And obols twice as many.
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Each of you states the matter correctly. Inside the bag one of you must have been shut up.
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Attend, please. With this right hand, as you know, I slew king Pterelas; his spoils I seized, and the goblet from which he had been used to drink I brought away in a casket; I made a present of it to my wife, with whom this day at home I bathed, I sacrificed, and slept.

Perseus Latin. CTS URN phi0119.phi001.perseus-eng2. Via the Perseus Digital Library / Open Greek and Latin TEI corpora. Licence: Available under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License. Source.