Curculio, or The Forgery

Perseus Latin · Perseus Latin · 618 sections

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Dramatis Personae CURCULIO, the Parasite of Phaedromus. THERAPONTIGONUS, a Captain of . PHAEDROMUS, a young man in love with Planesium. PALINURUS,Servants of Phaedromus. COOK, LYCO, a Banker. CAPPADOX, a Procurer. THE CHOREGUS (or, Director of the Chorus). AN ACTOR. PLANESIUM, a young woman belonging to Cappadox. AN OLD WOMAN, a Procuress.
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(Scene—Epidaurus, in Peloponnesus; before the houses of PHAEDROMUS and CAPPADOX, and the Temple of Aesculapius.)
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THE SUBJECT. PHAEDROMUS is desperately in love with Planesium, who is in the possession of Cappadox, an avaricious Procurer. Not having the means of obtaining her freedom, Phaedromus sends Curculio, his Parasite, to Caria, to borrow the money from a friend. The friend being unable to lend it, Curculio by accident meets a military officer, named Therapontigonus, and is invited by him to dinner. The Captain accidentally mentions to him that he has agreed to purchase Planesium of the Procurer, and that the money is deposited with Lyco, the banker, who, has been ordered, on receiving a letter signed with the Captain’s signet, to have the young woman delivered to the bearer. While the Captain is overpowered with wine, Curculio steals his signet, and hastens back to Epidaurus, where he forges a letter by means of it, which he delivers to Lyco, as though from the Captain. The money is paid to the Procurer, and Planesium is handed over to Curculio; a condition having been previously made, that if she should turn out to be a free woman by birth, the money shall be repaid to the purchaser. Curculio then delivers Planesium to Phaedromus. The same day, the Captain arrives at Epidaurus, and is soon after recognized by Planesium as her brother, through the medium of the ring, which had belonged to her father. To corroborate her assertion, Planesium produces another ring, which Therapontigonus had presented to her when a child as a birthday present. On this, she is given by her brother in marriage to Phaedromus; and Cappadox, much against his will, is forced to refund the money to the Captain.
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THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT. On an errand of Phaedromus, Curculio (Curculio) goes to Caria, that (Ut) he may obtain some money; there he despoils the rival (Rivalem) of Phaedromus of his ring. He writes a letter, and seals it with that seal. Lyco, when he sees it, recognizes (Cognoscit) the seal of the Captain; that (Ut) he may send him his mistress, he pays the money to the Procurer. The Captain threatens to summon Lyco (Lyconem) and the Procurer to justice: he himself (Ipsus) discovers his sister that was lost, at whose request (Oratu) he gives her in marriage to Phaedromus.
1.1.1
Whither away must I say that you are going out of doors at this time o’ night, Phaedromus, with that dress and with this train?
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Whither Venus and Cupid summon me, and Love persuades me; whether ’tis the midnight or whether the earliest twilight,
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if the day is fixed for pleading your cause with your antagonist, still must you go where they command you, whether you will or no.
1.1.7
But pray, pray—
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Pray — you are annoying to me.
1.1.8
Really that is neither pretty nor befitting you to say. You are your own servant; in your fine garb you are showing the light with your waxen torch.
1.1.10
And ought I not to carry that which is gathered by the labour of the little bees—which has its birth in sweets—to my own sweet one, my little honey?
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But whither must I say that you are going?
1.1.12b
If you ask me that, I’ll tell, so that you may know.
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If I make the enquiry, what would you answer me?
1.1.14
This is the Temple (pointing to it) of Aesculapius.
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That I have known for more than a twelvemonth past.
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Close to it is that door, dear as my very eyes. (Points to the door of CAPPADOX.) Hail to you! door, dear as my very eyes; have you been quite well of late?
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Did a fever leave you but yesterday, or the day before, and did you take your dinner yesterday?
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Are you laughing at me?
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Why then, madman, are you enquiring whether the door is well or not?
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I’ faith, I’ve known it as a door most comely and most discreet: never one word does it whisper; when it is opened, it is silent; and when, by night, she secretly comes out to me, it holds its peace.
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And are you not, Phaedromus, doing, or contemplating the doing of, some deed which is unworthy of yourself or of your family?
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Are you not laying a snare for some modest fair one, or for one that should be modest?
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For no one; and may Jupiter not permit me to do so.
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I wish the same. Ever, if you are wise, so bestow your love, that if the public should know the object which you love, it may be no disgrace to you.
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Ever do you take care that you be not disgraced.
1.1.32
What means that expression?
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For you to proceed with caution on your path; the object that you love, love in the presence of witnesses.
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Why, ’tis a Procurer that lives here.
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No one drives you away from there, nor yet forbids you, if you have the money, to buy what’s openly on sale.
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No one forbids any person from going along the public road, so long as he doesn’t make a path through the field that’s fenced around; so long as you keep yourself away from the wife, the widow, the maiden, youthful age, and free-born children, love what you please.
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This is the house of a Procurer.
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A curse befall it.
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Why so?
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Because it serves in an infamous service.
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You speak out.
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Be it so, most especially.
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Once more, will you hold your tongue?
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You bade me speak out, I thought.
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Then, now I forbid you. But, as I had begun to say, he has a young female slave—
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This Procurer, you mean, who’s living here?
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You have hold of it exactly.
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The less shall I be in dread of its falling.
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You are impertinent. He wishes to make her a courtesan, while she is desperately in love with me; whereas I don’t wish to have her upon loan.
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Why so?
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Because I’m for having her as my own; I love her equally as well.
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Clandestine courtship is bad; ’tis utter ruin.
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I’ troth, ’tis so as you say.
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Has she as yet submitted to the yoke of Venus?
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For me she is as chaste as though she were my own sister, unless, indeed, she is any the more unchaste for some kissing.
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Always, do you understand, flame follows very close on smoke; with smoke, nothing can be burnt, with flame, it can.
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He who wishes to eat the kernel of the nut, first breaks the nut; he who wishes to seduce, opens the dance with kisses.
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But she is chaste, and never yet has bestowed her favours upon man.
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That I could believe, if any Procurer had any shame.
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Well, but what think you of her? When she has any opportunity,
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she steals away to me; when she has given me a kiss, she’s off again. This happens by reason of this, because this Procurer is lying a-bed ill in the Temple of Aesculapius; that fellow is my torturer.
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How so?
1.1.63
At one time he asks me for thirty minae for her, at another for a great talent; and from him I cannot obtain any fair and just dealing.
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You are too exacting, in requiring that of him which no Procurer possesses.
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Now, I’ve sent my Parasite hence to Caria , to ask for money on loan from my friend; if he doesn’t bring me this, which way to turn myself I know not.
1.1.70
If you salute the Deities, towards the right I think; now this is this altar of Venus before their door.
1.1.71
I have already vowed to bring me an early breakfast for my Venus.
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What? Will you then be giving up yourself as a breakfast to Venus?
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Myself, and you, and all of these.
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Then you would have Venus to be sick outright.
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Here, boy, give me the bowl.
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What are you going to do?
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You’ll know directly. An old hag is in the habit of sleeping here, as the keeper of the door; the name of the Procuress is Much-bibber and Neat-bibber.
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Just as you would speak of a flagon, in which Chian wine is wont to be.
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What need is there of words? She is a most vinous soul;
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and the very moment that I’ve sprinkled this door with the wine, she knows by the smell that I’m here, and opens it forthwith.
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Is it for her the bowl is brought with the wine?
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Unless you object.
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I’ faith, I do object; for I’d rather have it broken about him who has brought it. I fancied it was brought for ourselves.
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Why don’t you hold your tongue?
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If any’s left after her, it will be enough for ourselves.
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What river is it, pray, that the sea does not receive?
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Follow me this way, Palinurus, to the door; do you be obedient to me.
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I’ll do so.
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Come, drink, you joyous door, quaff on, readily prove propitious unto me.
1.1.90
Door, would you like some olives or a tit-bit, or some capers?
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Arouse and send out here to me your portress.
1.1.92
You’re spilling the wine; what matter is it that possesses you? (Takes hold of his arm.)
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Let me alone. Don’t you see? This most joyous door is opening; does the hinge make a bit of creaking? ’Tis a charming one.
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Why don’t you then give it a kiss?
1.1.95
Hold your tongue; let’s keep back the light and our noise.
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Be it so.
1.2.96
The savour of aged wine has reached my nostrils; the love of it has brought me in my eagerness hither in the dark; wherever it is, it’s near me. O capital, I’ve found it. (Stooping, and smelling at the bowl.) Hail to you, my soul, Joy of dear Bacchus;
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how enamoured am I of your old age. For in comparison with yours, the odour of all unguents were mere bilge-water; you are my myrrh, you my cinnamon, you my rose, you my saffron unguent and my cassia, you are my vine-palm scent. But, where you have been poured, there would I most earnestly hope to be buried.
1.2.110
This old lady’s thirsty;
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how limited is her thirst?
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She’s a moderate person; she swallows eight gallons only.
1.2.111
I’ faith, according to your account, this year’s vintage is not enough for this old woman alone.
1.2.105
But since as yet you, fragrance, alone have penetrated to my nostrils, so in its turn afford some delight to my throat. (Feels for the bowl on the ground, which PALINURUS draws away.) I find you not; where is your own dear self? I’m longing to touch you; do let me pour your liquids into me by sip-sipping. But in this direction it has gone, this way I’ll. follow it.
1.2.112
It really had been more proper for her to be a dog; she has a good nose.
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Prithee, whose voice is it that I hear at a distance.
1.2.113
I think that this old hag should be accosted. I’ll approach her. (Aloud.) Come back, Procuress, and look back towards me.
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Who is it that gives his commands?
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The all-powerful in wine, jolly Bacchus; he who, when you’re hawking, parched, and half asleep, brings you a draught and comes to quench your thirst.
1.2.119
How far is he away from me?

Perseus Latin. CTS URN phi0119.phi008.perseus-eng2. Via the Perseus Digital Library / Open Greek and Latin TEI corpora. Licence: Available under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License. Source.